Turning the tables: the fine art of family dining

My daughter is going through a very unsatisfying phase that I’m sure is familiar to most mothers (and some fathers).

You know, the one where you cook something nutritious and – you think – delicious from scratch and she turns her nose up at it within seconds. Yes, it’s part and parcel of being one and asserting independence. But it’s disheartening to say the least, and makes a busy parent even more tempted to resort to a time-saving jar. At least then it’s not your hard work being tipped out.

On the plus side, my seven-year-old is becoming more adventurous in his food choices – embracing curries, stir-fries, tacos and the like. The other night I made a spicy tomato-based pasta which drew initial comments of “yuk”. But with a bit of encouragement to go beyond the first spoonful, he not only declared it delicious he asked when he next had sausages could I please make my homemade tomato sauce to go with them. Ah, it’s those small pleasures that make you go back to that stovetop time and again, isn’t it?

I want my children to really enjoy food – as something to be savoured, not just shovelled in between homework and playtime. To this end, I’m a great believer in eating at the dinner table. This has caused a few battles with said son, who given the choice would much prefer to eat in front of the television.

Sharing more than a meal

But it’s not just the fact that he pays more attention to what he’s eating if he’s at the table; it’s that I get to hear more about his day and he asks more questions too. The mere act encourages dialogue and, importantly, shows him we’re interested in what he has to say.

Good friends of ours have three children, all of whom are admirable young adults with good manners and social skills. This has not come about by accident, or mere good luck. I firmly believe one of the reasons is that come dinner time, they all sit down together as a family and share their day over a meal that usually more than one has helped prepare.

As Michael Pollan writes in his book In Defence of Food: “The shared meal elevates eating from a mechanical process of fueling the body to a ritual of family and community, from mere animal biology to an act of culture.”

So I will continue to call the brood to the table wherever possible, even when one of them is refusing to eat. In the meantime, if you have any suggestions about how to get fussy little minxes to start scoffing, I’m all ears.